Linger
by Misanagi
Summary: What Tezuka feels when Fuji goes back to Chiba to meet Saeki. Tezuka/Fuji. Side Fuji/Saeki.


**Linger**

**By Misanagi**

Pairing: Tezuka/Fuji. Side Fuji/Saeki.

Rating: PG

Warnings: Some angst.

Prompt: What Tezuka feels when Fuji goes back to Chiba to meet Saeki.

Word Count: 2400

Notes: Written for **cactuscontinuum** for dhorz

Special thanks to ketchupblood for the beta!

* * *

Tezuka stood in front of the door several minutes after Yumiko had closed it, looking at the blue paint and the small cracks in the wood. Slowly he turned around, walked down the two steps of the front porch and walked into the street, heading back home.

He should have taken the bus. It was too warm to walk and he didn't live that close to Fuji, but he just kept going, telling himself that the exercise was good for him.

Tennis was usually his preferred formed but even so, just the thought of stopping by the street courts to have a match made him feel annoyed and tennis never annoyed Tezuka. He let his slow steps take him back home and after greeting his family he went up to his room and tried to read.

Usually he didn't have trouble concentrating but today he found himself going over pages and pages just to realize that he didn't know what he had just read. He was in the process of rereading said pages when his cell phone rang.

_Kikumaru, _informed the small screen. Tezuka turned back to his book and let the call go to voice mail. He wasn't in the mood to deal with whatever Eiji wanted.

A few minutes later the phone rang again. This time it was Oishi and Tezuka picked up.

"You never called," Oishi informed.

Tezuka hadn't promised he would but he had known that Oishi would have been expecting it anyway. "He's away for the weekend," Tezuka informed him evenly.

"What? So close to the tournament? Is everything alright?" Oishi's worried tone carried seamlessly over the line.

"Yumiko said he went to visit an old friend." The last word tasted bitter in Tezuka's mouth.

"Oh." Oishi went quiet for a while. "I'll see you tomorrow, then, I guess."

Tezuka hung up.

* * *

Tezuka watched the regulars enter the courts for Saturday morning practice. Most of them looked half asleep and others annoyed at having to give up their morning this way. Tezuka frowned. It was times like these he missed the old Seigaku team.

Only Oishi greeted him with a smile. Even Kikumaru was glaring.

"Where is Fuji?" asked the coach, looking at Tezuka.

He wasn't captain, as it was only his second year, but the coach already expected him to know the whereabouts of his team mates, especially the ones from Seigaku.

"He went to Chiba for the weekend," Tezuka replied.

Oishi's eyes widened slightly in understanding and Kikumaru just turned his back on Tezuka and started stretching.

The coach frowned but then assigned laps to start the practice.

"Maybe Kanato will pull him from the regulars," Isaki, a third year said.

"He's too good," commented another third year.

Tezuka ignored them and started his laps.

* * *

"What did you do?" Kikumaru demanded furiously after practice. The locker room was almost empty and only Oishi, Kikumaru and Tezuka remained.

Tezuka didn't reply and just stared at Kikumaru.

"He wouldn't say but I know him and Fujiko wouldn't take off like that if you hadn't done something."

Tezuka could see that Kikumaru was a bit hurt that Fuji wouldn't confide in him but Tezuka had learned there were things only Saeki was allowed to know. He pursed his lips into a thin line. "He has some things to sort out."

"What is that supposed to mean, Tezuka?"

Tezuka picked up his bag and walked out of the locker room without another word.

* * *

After lunch Tezuka helped his mother with the dishes and his grandfather with the gardening. It was mid-afternoon when he changed into shorts and a t-shirt and went for a run.

He started, as usual, with a slow jog but soon enough he was running at full power with no thought of pacing himself or of keeping a steady rhythm. There was something bothering him and he didn't like the feeling of not knowing what it was.

It had to do with Fuji, that much was evident. It had to do with Fuji leaving.

It wasn't the first time Fuji had gone for the weekend, nor the first time he had gone to Chiba. After meeting Saeki in the tournament in Junior High they had decided to keep the friendship going and it wasn't weird to go to Fuji's house and have him gone or to find Saeki playing Fuji in the street courts some weekends.

But then again, Fuji had never kissed him before.

Tezuka ignored the aching on his legs and increased his pace slightly.

Fuji was strange. Tezuka had made a private game of trying to understand him but he had learned that there were some things he just couldn't be able to comprehend. The kiss was one of them.

One moment Fuji's lips were on his and the next he was smiling, waiting for Tezuka's reaction.

Maybe he should have said something.

* * *

"What is bothering you, Kunimitsu?"

Tezuka soaped a dish and rinsed it under the water. "It's nothing."

"Like I would believe that," his mother said sweetly. "Are you having sex yet?"

Tezuka almost dropped the dish. He refused to look up as he said, "No, mother."

She laughed. "You are so jumpy. Whatever it is unless you deal with it it'll keep bothering you." She placed a wet hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly.

They worked quietly after that.

* * *

Tezuka glanced at the time. Ten past three. Insomnia wasn't usually a problem he had to deal with. Now and then he would get calls from Fuji at strange hours of the night to discuss the strangest things like the way the new posters on the streets clashed with the buildings or how long did Tezuka think a snail could live sharing a pot with a cactus. Tezuka would promptly hang up and go back to sleep.

Tonight, however, Fuji hadn't called and sleep had proven impossible. His mother's words came back to him and Tezuka barely suppressed a growl. His mother had a way of always being right.

His mind drifted immediately back to what happened on the roof the day before. Lunch was just ending and he and Fuji had spent the period eating quietly, with Fuji pointing out some quirks of their new team mates now and then. Altogether it was a normal lunch, like any other day, until Fuji had kissed him.

After that Tezuka just looked at Fuji for the longest time, not saying a word, and when the bell rang he walked past Fuji and headed back to class.

Fuji hadn't been at afternoon practice.

Tezuka took a deep breath and closed his eyes again. He knew what he had to do.

* * *

"Chiba?"

Tezuka glared at the phone and didn't answer. He didn't like repeating himself.

"What happened between you and Fuji?" Oishi asked.

"Nothing."

Oishi sighed and Tezuka knew he wasn't fooling his friend.

"When you see him," continued Oishi, "tell him to call Eiji. He's fretting."

Tezuka ended the call and relaxed back on his seat. He looked out the window for a while but then decided to close his eyes. He hadn't managed to get more than a few hours of sleep and he had had to get up early to catch the first train.

Within moments he was asleep.

* * *

Tezuka looked at the directions on the small piece of paper in his hand and then folded it neatly and placed it in his pocket. Yumiko had given them to him before he even had a chance to ask. She had been expecting his call, she'd said.

The first stop should be the house but instead Tezuka headed for the beach. He remembered Fuji telling him that one of the things he missed the most about Chiba was the beach. He followed Yumiko's directions to Fuji's favorite beach without problems.

There were kids playing, a group of teenagers having a volleyball match and a group of older people having a picnic. Fuji wasn't there.

Tezuka took off his trainers and socks and placed them in his backpack. He rolled up the cuffs of his pants, stepped into the sand and walked along the shoreline, looking at the crashing blue waves.

He had been certain Fuji would be here. The beach was neutral territory and looking for him at Saeki's house was a completely different thing. However, he hadn't come all the way to Chiba to back down just because of a little inconvenience.

He was heading back to the sidewalk when he heard voices, one particular voice he knew. He moved towards them without pausing to consider, behind a cove, and he saw them.

Fuji and Saeki kissing.

* * *

The first time Tezuka had walked into Fuji's room he had noticed the small photo in a simple wooden frame on the desk. Two boys were sitting on the sand at the beach, a practically destroyed sandcastle at their feet and water to their ankles. They weren't smiling. They were looking down at the sand, not sadly, but one with curiosity and the other with wonder.

The image had stayed with Tezuka maybe because he had never seen that expression of wonder in Fuji's face and he'd always wondered what was it about that day or about that boy that had made Fuji do something so different.

But then again, maybe Fuji hadn't been the Fuji he knew back then. He had met Fuji late, as a prodigy, as a strong tennis player, as a quiet boy who knew more than he said but maybe Fuji hadn't always been like that. There was probably a whole shade of colors Tezuka had never managed to see but Saeki had been able to.

And Tezuka understood. He was jealous.

* * *

"I figured you would be here."

Tezuka didn't look up. He felt Fuji sitting beside him on the bench, their shoulders almost touching. He hadn't been in the train station for long but there were still a few hours before his train was scheduled to leave and Fuji apparently had every intention to sit and wait with him.

"Why did you come here, Tezuka?"

"You weren't at Friday afternoon practice," he said, as if it explained it all, and maybe it did.

"I'm sorry. I'll run laps on Monday."

They were quiet for a long time.

"Call Kikumaru," Tezuka finally said.

"I already did."

More silence.

"Saeki was my first kiss." Fuji's voice was barely above a whisper. "We were nine. One day I just felt like kissing him and I did. It was nice."

Tezuka finally turned to look at Fuji. The other boy was smiling.

"I never tried kissing again until Friday, with you." Fuji's eyes opened slightly. "It wasn't the same. It was very different. More than nice."

There was a question in Fuji's eyes. Was it nice for Tezuka too? It was the question he had come to Chiba to answer. Now, however, he wasn't sure what to say or if he wanted to say anything at all.

"I liked it," Fuji continued, apparently unfazed. "It wasn't exactly what I thought it would be."

"You had thought about it?" Tezuka asked before he could stop himself.

Fuji's smile changed. This was a more sincere one. "Yes. I didn't know I would do it on Friday but I've wanted to for a while. I wasn't sure how you would react." He tilted his head to the side. "I still don't know."

Tezuka's eyes met Fuji's. "And Saeki?"

The smile shift again. "I didn't know I would kiss him either. It's not why I came here."

"Then why did you?"

"To think." Fuji brushed a lock of hair back from his face. "Saeki is wonderful at helping me think."

"I see," Tezuka said evenly.

"But it wasn't really working. I decided to have an experiment so I kissed him. I wanted to see if my kiss with you was different because I'm not nine any more or because of you. Saeki didn't like the experiment very much. Especially when he noticed you standing there."

Tezuka just looked at Fuji.

"If you had stayed I would have explained then but you left and Saeki was angry with me so I had to sort things with him before I could look for you, though I knew you'd be here."

"I didn't want to intrude," said Tezuka but what he meant was 'I wasn't running away', even if it was a lie.

"Are you angry with me too, Tezuka?"

"Why should I be?"

"I would be angry," explained Fuji. "I wouldn't want anyone else kissing you."

Silence again.

Tezuka took off his glasses and cleaned them with the hem of his shirt. "What was the result of your experiment?" He knew he shouldn't have asked. He should have let the silence remain, it was less uncomfortable, but he wanted to know and he didn't like this feeling of uneasiness and distance between him and Fuji.

"The kiss with Saeki was nice, just like when we were nine. So it's not an age thing. It's just that I really liked kissing you. I want to do it again."

Tezuka's eyes widened slightly. "Why?"

"Some things don't have a reason, Tezuka. They are just feelings. You can't look for logic in everything."

"Would you be kissing him again?"

Fuji chuckled. "Why, Tezuka, are you jealous?"

Tezuka answered with a glare.

"I much rather be kissing you," Fuji admitted and then gave Tezuka that questioning look again.

It took a moment for Tezuka to realize that with the question there was also another look, one of wonder he recognized from the picture in Fuji's room, and it was one Fuji gave every time he settled his eyes on Tezuka.

Tezuka just hadn't been looking carefully enough.

* * *

A new picture sits in Fuji's desk now beside the old one. On it a sixteen year old Fuji is shaking hands with Tezuka on a tennis court, the net between them and rackets still in their hands. Tezuka's eyes are fixed on Fuji's and a small smile curves his lips. Fuji's eyes are open and he's smiling. His gaze is fixed on Tezuka and there's wonder in his eyes.

The picture is Tezuka's favorite.

* * *

- The End -


End file.
